Day 3.2

I've rearranged my closet so that the training equipment (weights, balls, bands, ipod/earphones, etc.) are FRONT AND CENTER.  I don't plan on doing anything else with these toys again today, but it's been a long time since they've been my friends and I needed to spend time looking at them. 

I dug them out of the dungeon on Day 1 to begin and they've been scattered all over the house since, so I figured I better treat them right and tidy up.  "Hello old friends.  I've missed you.  Right now I am hating on you, but we are together again anyway."

On food:  I'm not focusing on food right now, so whatever.  I'm focusing on re-creating the habit of training.  But let me share my thoughts about food just a little (besides the fact that I love sweets).

We all have vices and weaknesses.  Mine is ice cream.  I love it so much and I'm cranky without it.  I had some today and I feel guilty, but like I said, cleaning up my eating habits for 6 days a week is not my focus now.  So bring on the cold stuff.  But why do I still feel guilty?

Is it society or ourselves that makes us feel guilt about something like ice cream?  I'm fat, so of course I feel guilty about eating it.  When I was thin, I felt absolutely no guilt after an ice cream, because I EARNED and saved up for it.  I worked my ass off for weeks at a time before I would treat myself to that reward.  I feel guilty now, because I don't have a plan for such a nice treat.  I just eat like it's Christmas every day all the time and I'm all jiggly because of it!

Has society taught us that ice cream is ba-a-a-ad, so we shouldn't eat it?  It's sort of like a taboo, but we love it anyway.  Booze, smokes, alcohol, ice cream, candy, the list goes on.  These things all have a certain feeling or thought attached to it.  Do we want it because society teaches us that it's not good for us?  That it's not healthy for us?  

I don't know.  But I sure am glad I'm not focusing on moderating my food choices right now.  Baby steps...