Memories!

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. -Joan Rivers

I had to do some running in place for part of my workout this morning, which I depsise. DON'T INTELLIGENT TRAINERS AND FITNESS SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS REALIZE THAT WOMEN HAVE BREASTS? THESE THINGS BOUNCE, DONCHA KNOW??!! Men and skinny flat chested women just don't understand the gravity of this situation. AAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!! GRAVITY!! Oh, boy, I should keep my day job.

I heard from some cousins with whom I haven't spoken in years. Facebook is such a wonderful thing! Oh, some great memories are flooding back, and reconnecting with family doesn't have to be a painful thing. For me, it's unusual, but I love hearing from my long lost cousins! Can't wait to hear more from them!

Yesterday evening for dinner, we made fajitas. Take away the cheese and sour cream and the sheer volume of food intake, and it may have actually been healthy! Ha! Go figure. Anyway, I made homemade whole wheat tortillas, refried beans from scratch a few days before, sweet onions & mushrooms and my husband grilled the chicken. On the side were the beans & spanish rice (made from a packet - not from scratch). Pretty good, but the whole wheat tortillas are a bit cardboard-y.

Yea for me!! I worked out this morning! I took the doggie for a little trek around the neighborhood, even though it's still "crotch-pot-hot." Then I did a 30 minute workout on Wii EASports and it kicked my butt. There are some things I'd change about the program, but at this point, I'm pouring sweat, so I'm not going to fire off a letter to the company just yet. There's no post workout stretching, and that's a big problem for me. Fortunately, I am the smartest woman in the world, so I finished off with my own stretch routine.

In my Alanon program, I am working through the 12 steps with my sponsor. I was surprised that Alanon works the same steps that AA does. At first, I thought, "Why would I need to do this? I don't have a drinking problem." But as I study the steps, attend meetings, and consider the wisdom that people share at meetings, I now realize how important working these steps is to me. And I also think that Alanon is great for everyone, not just family and friends of alcoholics!

I'm working step 2 right now: "We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity." I've been getting hung up on the concept of "God" in this step, but you know what? As I wrote out step 2 just now, I've only just now observed that God isn't even mentioned in the step. Hmm. How about that?

Well, for the time that I've been living with an active alcoholic, I certainly have had many moments of insanity; feeling like I was crazy and wanted to die, scratch my skin off, pull out my hair, etc. Going to Alanon meetings has certainly been "a power greater than myself." Getting my feelings out on paper, sharing with friends, blogging, I consider all of these things great powers. I really love the Star Wars concept of "The Force (or 'The Fierce,' depending on my mood)." I can learn from all of these sources how to bring serenity, balance and peace to my own mind.

Now, I don't like how step 2 is worded: "...power...can restore us...." This power can't magically do anything for me. I can learn the tools, or "study the magic spells" and learn how to make life work well for me. When I run out of gas in the car, a higher power isn't going to make a can of gas magically appear. I have the tools (drivers' license, money, a set of wheels) to help me get to the gas station to fill up. These tools are what I'm learning through my step study.

I mentioned in last evening's meeting that I wish life had an instruction manual, but unfortunately, it just doesn't. A very brilliant person stated later that "for me, the Alanon blue handbook is my instruction manual." Oh, why didn't I see that?! Hmm. Yes, it never dawned on me quite like that; I'm still new Alanon and still discovering!

Have a great Tuesday, Friends. May The Fierce be with you.